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We talk to each other. About everything.

Tonight’s conversation was about 10 different subjects, but we relished in it.

We sat and drank wine while we talked. It’s what we do. Often those conversations go on until the wee hours of the morning. Tonight, I can report that it didn’t go longer than two hours.

The TV was off.

In that two hours we learned something, however minuscule it may seem, about each other. Simply put, about one half of that two hours involve listening to the other person.

Some people would chalk this up as unremarkable. I’d do that under normal circumstances. What the hell. It’s just a couple getting into the wine and yapping away.

Except that we’re physically separated by about 500 miles. Yet we talk every day. And it’s not “Hello, had a good day, love you, talk to you tomorrow.” That’s the stuff of emails and phone calls. A disembodied voice or the written word.

Yes, we actually talk to each other. And we listen. Even over 500 miles, because right now we’re not there with each other. But that doesn’t stop us talking. We’ve found a way.

When I hear couples make the statement that “we don’t communicate” I understand that there is a problem.

Focus.

If she and I can do it over a separation of 500 miles and put technology to work for us it’s because it means something to us.

We learned to do it across a table. We keep it up even if there is 500 miles of mountain ranges between us.

Makes me want to go home and rip her clothes off.

She Says:

You rip my clothing and you’re dead meat! Besides, what makes you think I’m wearing any?

OK..back to the serious stuff. The technology His Highness is referring to is a webcam. Because my dearly beloved (choke, choke) spends so much time on the road, we’ve made it a rule that wherever he stays, it must have internet access. We spent many years relying simply on a telephone, and it just didn’t do it for us. So now we have our routine. We make our suppers, sit down at a table in front of a laptop, call up each other…and voila!..the light of my life (rolling eyeballs to the ceiling) and I are having supper together.

It not only makes the evening enjoyable for us, it’s actually become a necessity. Without it, we feel more than a little bit lost. There are rare occasions when we don’t webcam on a particular evening (sometimes it’s due to a spat between us which results in the two us reverting to our childhoods and refusing to talk to each other…but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms – separate post to follow re: the refusal of middle-age people to act their age).

There is one very important lesson we’ve learned over the years. When we are separated by time and distance, we are allowed to mildly complain about our day, but only for a few minutes. We are not permitted to drag the other person down the black hole of bitchiness when we are unable to give or receive a hug (or a good smack across the backside of the head..whichever comes first).

All I know is that I need to see his face every day. Even if I can’t touch him, I need to see his smile. Thank God for modern technology.

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